Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Winter Doldrums

The end of February and the beginning of March is, without a doubt, the absolute worst time of the year. If you have a birthday or anniversary or some other type of fabulous, wonderful celebration during this time of the year, go away  consider yourselves lucky that you have something to look forward to. I don't. So I hate it. And even though I prepare myself for it every year, I can't seem to do anything to get myself out of the pissy-pisserton funk I fall into. During my funk, I'm awful to be around. I'm stressed, anxious, gossipy and above all horribly, horribly, horribly insecure. While I've given up negativity for Lent, I'm cheating right now because we're allowed to be negative and insecure in our group (right?) with the promise to end on something positive. 

Things I'm horribly insecure about:
1. I have not read a book in its entirety since August. August 12 to be exact. Yes, Baby Boy #2 was born on August 14, but that's not an excuse. Not one book since then? That's pathetic.
2. I have not read a manuscript in its entirety since August. AND I'm sitting on two FABULOUS manuscripts by two very talented writers. EVERY SINGLE TIME I pick one up and read 5 more pages or 10 more pages, I love it!! And then I get called away and I don't pick them up for another two weeks and I HATE THAT. (And I'm so, so sorry about it too!)
3. I have not sent a query or written a new manuscript in...a long, long time. Even my current editing is going SLOW. 
4. I have three new shiny ideas that I'm dying to write about and even though I've outlined them and taken pages of notes about my ideas, I haven't started them.

Rant over. Lent back on (because that's the kind of Catholic I am). 

Okay. My two positives. 
1. Earlier this week, we bought a house. We are leaving our fabulous city life behind for the burbs and (I never thought I'd say this about leaving the city) it's exciting. ;)
2. I read a wonderful post last week at Operation Awesome by R.R. Russell that makes me feel okay and even good about having other things going on in life - even if that means writing life is slower than I'd like it to be right now. Need something positive? Check out: Writing Is Not My Life. I hope you all love it as much as I did.

Anyone have any more positives? I'd love to hear them. 


  1. Congratulations on your move! Change is usually a good thing, so I'm sure it will be positively wonderful!

    Regarding your insecurities - just do it already! If you want to read, read. If you want to query, write the letter, and if you want to write - write! You're allowed to be who you need to be in this world, without permission from anyone.

    Granted, you may be spending some of your hours packing boxes right now, but no one is going to do that 24/7. Most people don't have that much stuff to pack anyway - or do they? hmmm...

    Anyway, these are your words of encouragement from moi - Just do it already!

    Best to you! Enjoy your new home and have a great day! :)

  2. I'm going to read the post you suggest. This is something I've been thinking a lot about as I cruise through blogs. Writing is not life. Life is not just for writing. When we invest our whole identity in writing, it's easy to get thrown by the inevitable ups and downs of it. I am a mom, wife, friend. I like to workout, be outside, bake, read, and yes, write (and even putz around the house cleaning sometimes-- don't tell anyone that).

    Also, as I look back on life-- college, working towards a career, my MA, having kids, kids growing up-- I realize there are stages and seasons in life-- an ebb and flow of where our time and priorities are. When my kids were little, they were my focus and energy and I don't regret a minute of that. Now that they're grown and almost independent, I can focus, once again, on goals I have. Trying to do and be it all during all the stages of life can beat you up.

    Congratulations on your new home! That IS exciting, and something to look forward to, even during this time of year (I agree, it's a drag).

  3. My birthday is in a week. *ducks*

    But even so, I know exactly what you're talking about! When I was a kid, I used to insist we start celebrating my birthday right from the beginning of March, and I think it was mostly to try to work some enthusiasm and energy into the month. That, and to make my sister do my chores for a few weeks (that one never worked).

    This year it's worse than even, because I don't think all of us in my family have been healthy for longer than one week since the beginning of October. It's AWFUL. I keep trying to tell myself we're building really strong immune systems, but that's little comfort when you're awake for the millionth night in a row because SOMEONE is coughing all night long.

    However! I got the kids' bikes out today to try out, now that the snow is gone from the driveway and sidewalks. And we're starting our flower and vegetable seedlings sometime soon. And our club's annual ice show is this weekend, and for the first time ever, the two girls AND ME are going to be in it!

    So, yeah. Trying to focus on the positive. Good luck with your move!

  4. Congrats on your move! I believe it's really exciting. I've noticed that writing comes in waves, depending on life. Which is okay. There are other things around besides writing (Ooo... am I allowed to say that? ;) )

  5. Congrats on the move! That is exciting. This sort of still in winter when oh when is spring time is indeed the worst and so easy to get in a funk. Giving up negativity for Lent is a good idea.

    Also - you have a small baby, I think not reading as much as you'd like or writing is totally understandable!

  6. Moving...good for you as long as its a positive one for you. As for your writing, it will always be there. Babies grow fast. I waited to finish writing my first novel for 10 years. Its all good.

    Hugs and chocolate,

  7. This is a tough time of year for me too and it's because I long for summer (or at least springtime) but it seems so far off. It affects my mood and my entire demeanor. So I get where you are right now.

  8. I totally get into a funk until the weather is better. I hate winter! Great way to end with the positive. Something positive in my life... I'm just happy my family isn't sick. Winter could be much worse!

  9. You have a baby and a full time job - I'm sure sleep is a premium some days!
    Congratulations on the move. Just don't stress out that you won't be able to do much during that time - just mentally prepare for it.
    And thanks again for passing on what the kids said!

  10. I'm longing for warmer weather so I can walk outside for exercise. That always improves my mood. Don't be so hard on yourself since you have a baby and work full time. It's hard to squeeze in the writing time. I have a full time job as an attorney, a daughter who is a swimmer, and a disabled husband. Plus my blog is very busy. My writing is SLOW, 10 years to finish one manuscript. But I can only squeeze so much into a day and it's the same for you, especially since you'll be moving. Just accept that it's a phase of life and that you'll have more time in the future. Trust me, you will some day.

  11. Why is this time of year so funkyfying?

    I hate moving, so, well, good luck with that!

  12. I get this too! I call it post-holiday blues. It just lasts till Spring.ha I'm trying to shake it off and be more positive! And with that said...I have nothing else positive to add.

  13. Congrats on the house! The burbs are so much better than the city.

    My advice on how to change that attitude? Change your football team. Drop the Packers and pick up another one in the NFC North. Just sayin...

  14. The good news is that your ms (and your story ideas) will be there when you finally get some time. That's what's so great about being an unagentes author. No deadlines!
    Send me a copy of those ideas. If they're any good ill steal them. :)

  15. I tell you what, I swear every time I read your posts, I feel like I'm reading my own thoughts (minus the perfectly excellent excuse of having a new baby)! I hate this time of year too cause it's the end of basketball season, and that means I've put up with A LOT of basketball and being a single parent and practices and gym time and so on that I would much rather not spend time on.

    I wrote for the other night for first time since I can't remember. It was only 1,000 words, but it felt good!

    I have your ms to read and another one and feel the same way you do--I really want to read and LOVE it when I'm reading, but them get called away and that ends my 'writing' time.

    We'll get through it :) Here's to our upcoming spring and summer breaks! :)

  16. Definitely checking out that post. I actually got tired of not being able to write, so I decided to set some reading and writing goals until the end of the month. So far, it's going really well, which is making me really positive.

    Hope you get out of your funk soon!

  17. That's great to hear you've got those ideas ready to take off. February, March is a tough time. Unfortunately here, March doesn't necessarily mean spring. Although I loved to see the bright sunshine and hear the birds chirping the other day. But this month could still be filled with snow and cloudy gray skies.

    Somebody above mentioned getting outside for fresh air, and a walk. That's helpful for me too. And I wouldn't get so much reading done if I didn't read on the treadmill. It means, I'm really only walking, since I'm holding onto that book, but I suppose an 45 min of fast walk is better than nothing. And I get some reading done.

    I'd be nice to get some books on tape to put on my music player. Then when I take the dog for a walk, she'd get in a 2 hour walk because I couldn't stop listening to the story. :)

    Congrats on the move!

  18. Hello from "Blogging from A to Z April Challenge!" Following all fellow writers. I believe I'd learn a lot from them. Have a great day!

    Sonnia J. Kemmer

  19. Boy you've got A LOT going on. No wonder you seem overwhelmed and had to have a rant, even if the things going on are so very positive. A new baby... no wonder you can't read. You've got another soul in your house. You've got to figure out how to get your routine with that new soul around. It'll happen. Congrats to you for everything.

  20. You have a lot on your plate -- don't be so hard on yourself. Things will work out, and before you know it, you'll be following up all the 3 shiny new ideas.

  21. Remember a new baby is very demanding and time-consuming. But they grow up so fast!
    Your ideas will always be there... just waiting for you to bring them to life!
    Everything in good time...

  22. Congratulations on the new house.
    Don't worry spring will be here soon enough, followed by summer and you will be (hopefully) doing a lot of reading and or writing. :)