Today I'm joining the infamous Alex J. Cavanaugh and his Insecure Writer's Support Group. What a brilliant idea - who doesn't need one of these? For this bloghop, once a month, "Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear or appearing foolish or weak."
So, let the foolish, weak, and somewhat blubbery post begin...
*Wrings hands, bites lip*
My name is Kimberly. I'm from Chicago, and I'm an insecure writer.
I've never been to a support group, but I've seen plenty of them on TV. Right now I envision my fellow group members applauding as I take a deep breath at getting through my admission and beginning my story. That's how it works, right?
I started my querying journey in January thinking, like Stephenie Meyer, I would send out 10 or so queries before someone amazing like Jodi Reamer snatched me up and offered me a six-figure three book deal. When I received my first full request by an amazing super-agent, I actually had a moment or two where I doubted whether or not she would be amazing enough for me. She was relatively new, after all, and I had not yet queried Jodi Reamer.
*swallows humility, bangs head, stupid, stupid, stupid*
The lesson I learned was that I was ridiculously new, completely naive, and my MS was way too rough around the edges. Ms. Amazing Super-Agent sent me a form rejection letter. Form rejection on full request = bad. So, I entered a few contests, met a few CPs, and got some really smart feedback before realizing I needed an overhaul of my MS.
Three months later, my overhaul is complete, and I'm ready to start querying again...maybe. I could honestly rewrite my first page all day every day, but that's not what's holding me back. It's that horrible nagging insecurity-doubt thing. It's that possibility that this MS will fail or that I will fail or that I will wake up and realize that I suck as a writer. Whether or not my MS is ready, I don't know if I'm ready for that.
So lovely writers, bloggers, and insecure writing group peeps, (yes, I'm over 30 and yes, I did just use the word peeps), I'm hoping to read through your struggles and triumphs over the next couple of days. So many of you have inspired me a million times over since I started this journey in January. I need your stories of courage, strength and perseverance to once again kick me in the butt and force me to put on my big girl pants. No pun intended *says the 8.5 month pregnant woman with horribly swollen feet*
Happy 4th of July.