My "Hookers," aka first lines from some of my chapters, are from my recent manuscript, THE BEAUTY OF DESTRUCTION. For a little bit of background about my story, here's my one sentence pitch:
Mia, a fifteen year old amnesic dead girl gets stuck helping another lip-glossed and venomous teen
prevent a vengeful school shooting, only to discover the real story behind her
own murder.
Chapter 1: Any minute now, Valerie Wittier will wake up, and I’ll remind her of what she’s done.
Chapter 3: From the moment I opened my eyes, I knew exactly where I was and not to trust it.
Chapter 6: All I can see are images of their bodies lying there, looking like cast aside baby dolls.
Chapter 13: Rain falls in billowing sheets like a heavy curtain of tinsel.
Chapter 34: A triad of lines like a tiny bird foot creases the space between her brows.
Chapter 35: “He has a gun.” The breathless words came from her mouth, though she was sure they’d been someone else’s.
Chapter 36: My stomach is tight and twisted – a thick, knotted, nautical rope coiled inside me spreading through every inch of my torso.
No only am I hooked. I want to read the book. Awesome job. Plus great logline. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Stina, your pitch line is really great. I don't know if you did this on purpose or if it has to do with the story, but your 3, 6 and 34 you mention what she can see or something about her eyes. It is kind of a neat effect. I am excited to see your hangers.
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies! Sydney - I didn't notice that! Ha! Thanks for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteGreat lines. And your pitch intrigued me too.
ReplyDeleteGreat visuals in the writing!
ReplyDeleteChapter 3 is my fav. Nice!
ReplyDeleteOMG these are so great! I really, really, really want to read this now based on the pitch and the hookers! Well done!
ReplyDeleteExcellent! Excellent! Excellent! I got chills after reading the first one! So good!
ReplyDeleteWow! this are amazing! Great job!!
ReplyDeleteOmg, these are awesome! Chapters 1, 6, and 35 are my favorites! These would definitely keep me reading. Love the pitch, too! :D
ReplyDeleteNo 13 is my fav, such strong imagery :) Can't wait to see your Hangers!
ReplyDeleteGreat pitch and first lines, I actually want to read this book now! Best of luck in the contest!
ReplyDeleteI'm with A W Exley on chapter 13. Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteNice hookers. The story line sounds intriguing. Can't wait to read your hangers. Enjoyed reading your posting!
ReplyDeleteOOOHHH! Very good. I'm totally hooked, I want to know more!
ReplyDeleteAfter I read the first one I knew I was hooked!! The rest are such great imagery. Love these!!! Can't wait to read your hangers.
ReplyDeleteThat first line is awesome! Awesome! I want to read more! I want to know what she did! Well done!
ReplyDelete(ps. Please tell me Kimberly Gabriel is a pen name, 'cause it's so cool. I'm jealous.) ;)
My favorite is #13.
ReplyDeleteGreat 1st line of a book, let alone chapter. Well done. I definitely want to read on and see what the deal is. I'm a new subscriber now. This Bloghop has been great for finding new blogs! Cheers, Jeannette
ReplyDeleteWow, that pitch is SUPER good. And that first sentence is creepy. I just picture here there, sitting over her, waiting for her to open her eyes. Ah!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for participating!
They kept getting better and better! Totally loved these hooks:)
ReplyDeleteI vote #1, though they are all great!
ReplyDeleteVery eerie... loved it. The first line of chp 1 is great.
ReplyDeleteExcellent hooks, a lot of them were filled with tension and intrigue, but my favourite was: All I can see are images of their bodies lying there, looking like cast aside baby dolls. - excellent imagery.
ReplyDeleteSome of these hooks are very intense. I like #35.
ReplyDeleteI am way beyond hooked. I need to read this. Really. This was awesome!
ReplyDeleteyay another thriller!
ReplyDeletefirst line totally snagged me!
exciting all the way! great!
You have awesome imagery! That's enough to hook me on its own. These hooks really seem to jump off the page (or screen). And the pitch is great!
ReplyDeleteThat's a really interesting premise for a story, and the first line is definitely intriguing
ReplyDeleteOh, I like the tinsel simile. Very expressive!
ReplyDeleteThese are all amazing! Great job. This is probably my favourite:
ReplyDeleteA triad of lines like a tiny bird foot creases the space between her brows.
mostly 'cause I love tiny animals. hehe