Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Never Surrender Blogfest

To enter my giveaway for a signed copy of Veronica Roth's INSURGENT or Liz Norris's UNRAVELING, go here.


During the second week of June--that's the 11-16--Elana Johnson is hosting the Never Surrender blogfest. This is something anyone, anywhere can participate in. 


In Elana's words...All you have to do is blog about a time you didn't surrender. Trained for a marathon? Queried agents? Had to study for an entrance exam? I'm looking for inspirational stories that you have experienced. Hard things you've accomplished because you didn't give up. I want to be inspired by you!


Anyone who blogs this week for the theme can enter to win one of three $15 B&N gift cards. Everyone who blogs this week will receive a SURRENDER swag package.

Don’t blog? Put the cover of Surrender up on your FB wall, or pin it on Pinterest, or change your twitter avatar to the cover. Use the words “Never Surrender” somewhere to go with the picture, and link back to this post. 

Sign up in this form to make sure you get the swag package. Elana will visit each blog to read your inspirational "never surrender" moments. 




I debated writing about running my first marathon, writing the book I’d always talked about writing, and teaching seventh grade English for 12 years – talk about needing a never surrender mentality! But as I sit in the waiting room while my two-year-old son undergoes his fourth surgery (thankfully not life threatening), I can’t help but see all of those as practice tests.

My elation over becoming pregnant after eighteen months of trying quickly turned to anxiety when I was labeled a high-risk pregnancy during my first trimester. For a series of potential complications, I was heavily monitored until I went into labor at 32 weeks. Though doctors stopped the labor, my son’s fetal heart rate bottomed out. On February 5, 2010, I was rushed to the OR for an emergency c-section in a very dramatic flourish – one perfectly scripted for primetime TV complete with a tray full of scalpels crashing to the floor just before they knocked me out. Our amazing team of doctors saved my son’s life that night, and he was born at 4lbs 1oz.

I saw my firstborn briefly when I woke up. They wheeled me into the NICU where I was able to touch his hand. When he grasped my finger, it was the most beautiful moment in the world. I couldn’t hold him. I couldn’t stay with him. I could barely tell what he looked like with the tubes and braces supporting him. But he was safe, alive, and though tiny, pretty damn precious.

Once again, our relief was short-lived. The following night, his lung collapsed. NICU doctors acted quickly and saved his life for the second time in 48 hours.

He spent the next 5 weeks in the NICU where I visited him every day, twice a day. Our experiences as first time parents were atypical. Instead of holding my child, I was allowed to cup his head and his feet with my hands. Instead of fussing over a crying newborn that wouldn’t sleep throughout the night, we toiled over the guilt and worry of leaving him every evening in a room filled with monitors that beeped all night long. Each family moment was shared with nurses, doctors, and other NICU parents. For being a private person, nothing for us was private.

The NICU is a wonderful, magical place that saves babies’ lives and parents’ sanity. But not every story there is a happy one. When we took our son home for the first night five weeks after his birth, I sobbed hysterically that we were so lucky.

Shortly after his homecoming, my son developed severe reflux and Preemie Chronic Lung Disease. With an already weak immune system, we found ourselves in and out of the hospital – seven times in eight months. His premature birth coupled with chronic sicknesses led to developmental delays. We saw four different therapists on a weekly basis to help him catch up. Our lives were chaotic. Everything we did surrounded strengthening ad protecting our little boy. And, yet, somehow, someway we managed to raise a happy kid who loves – more than anything – to laugh.

One of my proudest moments as a mom was in the recovery room after his second surgery. An hour or so after he’d woken up, my husband, my son and I were having a dance party. My husband and I were dancing like complete idiots while my son sat in a hospital bed groggily flapping his arms. The nurse came in to check his vitals. Before she left, she told us that she rarely saw chronically sick kids like our son as happy and energetic as he.  

I can’t help but think this is because my husband and I never surrendered. We never surrendered to pessimism. We never surrendered to the “Woe is me” mentality. While there were plenty of tears and scares along the way, we focused on recognizing how blessed we were to be a family. Our road may have been tiring, emotional, stressful, and, at times, heart-wrenching, but we were hell-bent on surrounding our kid with happiness, love, and dance parties.

I'm 31 weeks pregnant now with Baby Boy #2. I found out I was pregnant two weeks after doctors told me I had a less than 10% chance of having a second child - another story for another time. This pregnancy is once again high risk. And if he does come early, and we have to take the same path we took with our first son to have another happy, thriving kid like him, sign me up. Bring it on. We'd be a very, lucky family.



26 comments:

  1. Oh Kimberly, what a moving story. You and your husband are so strong. I hope your next delivery is so much better. I'll be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.

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  2. That is an amazing story of strength, Kimberly. I can't imagine the pain of having a child be so sick and it sounds like you handled it beautifully. I hope that he continues to thrive.

    Good luck with this pregnancy. It sounds like you like to beat the odds all over the place.

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  3. This is an amazing story of life-long never surrendering. Your sons are very lucky to have you as their mom, because this shows your strength and you'll pass on the never give up attitude. Thank you for sharing, and best of luck with your pregnancy. Hope this one is more typical.

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  4. You are indeed a lucky family to have each other. I have 2 families within my close circle who have faced some terrifying pregnancies and issues with their wonderful little ones. Like you, they face each and every step with joy and hope and optimism. Those 2 little ones are happy & full of joy too. I know your new baby boy will be just as joyous as #1. Good luck! *hugs*

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  5. I can't even imagine how scary it would be to go through surgeries with a baby and not knowing what will be. Sounds like you and your husband have lots to be thankful for with your little one, and I'll be keeping you in my thoughts for a safe delivery of #2... hopefully at least another six weeks from now!

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  6. Kim,

    Tears are flowing as I write this. I have such admiration for parents with sick children. Your story is an amazing one. Your little boy is happy because you and your husband showed endless love, compassion, and determination ... qualities that are infused in your little guy, I am sure.

    Children are so precious and we MUST be there for them, as you both have been. I pray all goes well with your current pregnancy. God is watching over your wonderful little family. Thankfully.

    Thank you also for you dropping by my blog and joining my blogger family. This is an amazing community as you will see in time. The support, love, and true caring is ever present within our words.

    Michael

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  7. What a beautiful story. And what a beautiful pic. Love it. Thanks for sharing. =D

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  8. This touches my heart, in one of those oh-so-close ways because I have a similar story and will be sharing it on the Never Surrender blogfest tomorrow.

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  9. AWWW, this is so lovely (*sniff*)!!!!!! I wish you much peace, hope and happiness with your second (how awesome you get another angel to care for and love)!

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  10. This is a beautiful story of Never Surrender -- and the comment of the nurse after your son's surgery proves just how joyfully you celebrated every triumph.

    My nephew was born prematurely at about 2 pounds, although he did not have quite so many follow up issues. We were very lucky, and his parents also did not surrender to the "experts" who told them their son would be developmentally "delayed" ... if not worse.

    He just finished kindergarten, and although he might be the tiniest kid in his class, I'm betting he's also the most verbal. We call him "Professor Sheldon Cooper" -- but only behind his back, because he "gets it."

    All the best to son #1 and son #2 -- and so nice to meet you!

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  11. Awesome story!!! My first born was 13 weeks premature and weighed just over 2 lbs. It was hard, but I saw so many moms lose their babies while my son was in the NICU, I couldn't feel sorry for myself. I tried to remain optimistic, and was told off by one pregnant mom (who was supposed to be a friend!) because I was too optimistic!!!! I did crash for a short time after that and quit hanging out with her. Who needs that kind of negativity when your child is clinging to life. He certainly didn't need it.

    Because the doctors had no idea why #1 was so premature, my second son was considered high risk. He was born 4 weeks early. My daughter, who is definitely the most patient by far, came the day before her due date and wasn't considered high risk.

    My oldest (now 12) is a lesson in never surrendering. He's faced with a lot of issues, some due to his prematurity, but he tries not to let them affect him much. He struggles in sports, which is a big deal for a 12 year old boy.

    Good luck with pregnancy #2. :D

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  12. Thank you all for your lovely sentiments and well wishes.

    I've been making my way through the Never Surrender posts and have been inspired many times over by so many stories of strength...whether it be perseverance through the submission process or through a serious life challenge.

    Barbara - I look forward to reading your story.

    Dianne and Stina - Thank you for sharing your stories! I can still remember my days in the NICU clinging to stories like the ones you shared.

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  13. I know that was some tough times you two went through. People don't realize how blessed they are to have children who were born without a hitch. However, having a sick child can really bond a couple if they keep a great attitude, which obviously you two have.

    Good luck on the new child. I'm sure I'll hear about the birth as I am now following your blog. Thanks for the never surrender story.

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  14. You and your husband are such strong, amazing individuals. Your sons are so lucky to have you as their mom.

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  15. Wow. Your story brought tears to my eyes. I wish you all the best with your second pregnancy.

    Nice connecting with you today, Kimberly! :)

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  16. Hi Kimberly! That's a beautiful story.You are so very blessed indeed. Really puts things into perspective. The human spirit is just amazing, as I'm sure your son is. Here's wishing you many more blessings for an easier pregnancy and delivery, as well as healthy baby this time around.

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  17. You have been blessed. It's times like these that put life in perspective. Blessings to son #1 and son #2. I'm a follower so I can't wait to hear the good news. Have a wonderful weekend!

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  18. Fellow teacher and new follower *waves* Thank you for sharing your story. Your grace and perseverance are truly an inspiration. Wishes for a happy, healthy pregnancy. I'll bet you can't wait to see your two boys wrestling with each other in a few years.

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  19. Your story is heart-wrenching, yet filled with hope and miracles. My Never Surrender post is different from yours in exacts, but similar in emotion. Children are the greatest gift we receive as well as give. You survived. There's a reason you got pregnant again. Feel hopeful. My best wishes go out to you with this pregnancy. ;D

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  20. Where are children are concerned....surrender is never an option! Loved your story! Good luck with round 2. :)

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  21. Kimberly, I came over here because of comments you made on Project Mayhem about The Book Thief. Thanks for the great insights of teaching that book in a 7th grade classroom.

    Like several others, I have my NICU story. My oldest son was born almost 16 years ago at 24 weeks gestation (1 lb 6 oz.) He has had struggles but is currently going into 10th grade and has been doing well academically. (Like Stina's son, sports are a struggle.) His greatest passion, however, is music. He plays the drums and has been in numerous middle school and high school musicals. I am amazed at what he has accomplished after such a scary and fraught beginning.

    Thanks for sharing your story about your #1 son. I hope #2 pregnancy is going well.

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    1. A 24 weeker - how scary. I absolutely love to hear that your son is doing so well now and that he excels musically and academically. You must be so proud. ;) Thank you for stopping by and sharing your story as well!

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  22. Wow, now that is a serious Never Surrender story! Sounds like you've got incredible strength. And what a blessing to have a second child on the way :-)

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  23. My twins were also born at 32 weeks and stayed 3 weeks in the NICU, so I sure can relate to this story!!! I too felt so blessed my twins were one of the "success stories" because we certainly saw many other parents struggling with heartbreaking situations. Sorry I am so late visiting -- this blogfest has been so inspiring!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Margo! I love meeting other parents with similar success stories - I love hearing them too. Nice to meet you!

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  24. Yes! A lucky, lucky family you are!!

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